Sort of in Mourning

It sounds stupid. Every pregnant woman wishes that the time would pass quickly. But maybe that is because it doesn't. Time is a constant. It does not change. 60 seconds equal a minute. 60 minutes equal an hour and so on and so forth. For me time has changed it's unchangeable ways.

I went to the doctor thinking I was 12 weeks pregnant, about to start my 4th month. I left the doctor with a completely different story. I am 15 weeks pregnant and tomorrow I begin my 5th lunar month of pregnancy. I feel robbed. I am one of those uber weird moms that checks every website and celebrates every new development. I savor them. I think a lot about my little guy/girl. I went to the doctor and I had a baby about an inch and a half long. I leave with this four inch bohemoth.

This all sounds so stupid. Mostly because it is stupid. I have a miracle inside of me. Robbie is going to have a best friend for life. And I am bummed. Not about the baby, but about a much more trivial loss.

On this, what is most likely my last pregnancy, I really wanted to embrace every second of it. I feel robbed.

Anyway, Robbie pictures will be posted when I am in a more positive mood. He is super cute, BTW. He is obsesed with his ducky slippers right now.

So, check out my new ticker that reflects my ginormous baby. I have felt the baby "flutter". Just like it's brother, it either really hates it or really loves it when Mama plays the guitar.